Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Thoughts

Bear with me, this post is going to be a bit candid. Random thoughts I've been having lately and feelings that are surfacing after our almost two months here...

I feel incredibly grateful for this opportunity to live abroad as an adult. I've always dreamed of something adventurous and unconventional for Jason and I to do together, but never ever thought an opportunity like this would land in our laps. We are living in one of the most beautiful cities in England and have managed to find a house that fits the dogs' needs almost perfectly. We also have some amazing trips booked that I am very excited about. England is an ideal home base to explore other places from and the Brits sure are a well-traveled bunch.

I've discovered that tasks that would be simple and straight forward back home are inevitably more complicated and expensive to complete here. Buying and owning a television, organizing and storing clothing, heating a home, renting a home, applying for jobs, driving, etc. Yes, I know these are first world problems.

I left a really amazing job and I'm terrified I'm never going to find something as satisfying - an environment that challenges me, appreciates me, and utilizes my skills in the same way.

Some days I leave our house and I feel like a complete outsider. Like there is no way I will ever belong here. Other days I feel like I was meant to live here.

We are fortunate to have wonderful renters in our home in North Tacoma. They are expecting a baby this summer and will be bringing it home to our house, into the "nursery" they've decorated that used to be my craft room (the room I was saving for our future little one).  I have to admit this stings just a little. And I know I'm being selfish. I can't have my cake and eat it too. But it still stings. 

Thanks for listening.



2 comments :

  1. England is lucky to have you, Lane :)

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  2. Lane, I am so proud of you for expressing your feelings this way! I won't even pretend to know what you must be feeling. Just know that I love you and that I am here to chat any time you want. I am so proud of you and Jason for being brave enough to take this adventure. I know that any job you take, YOU will make it wonderful, and they will be lucky to have you and your caring and compassion for what you do. As for the future little one and the nursery, wow, yep I agree that has to sting. But someday when you and Jason have a child (my grandchild!) you will make a wonderful mother and that to whatever home you bring him/her home too you will see that it is special and memorable. I love you!

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